ADHD in women: why it is often missed
Many women with ADHD are not diagnosed until their thirties, forties or later. Often it is only when their own child is assessed, or life becomes too demanding to manage, that the pieces fall into place.
One reason is that ADHD in girls is more likely to look inattentive than disruptive. A quiet girl who daydreams, loses her homework and works frantically the night before a deadline may not be seen as having a problem. Others are labelled chatty, emotional or disorganised.
Many girls also learn to mask. They copy how others behave, over-prepare, set up rigid systems, and work extremely hard to appear on top of things. This can hide the difficulties for years, but it often comes at a cost: exhaustion, anxiety and a feeling that life is harder for them than it is for others.
Women with undiagnosed ADHD are sometimes treated first for anxiety or depression. These can genuinely occur alongside ADHD, but treating them alone may not address the underlying patterns.
Some women notice that their ADHD traits feel stronger at certain points in their menstrual cycle, during pregnancy, or around perimenopause. Research into hormones and ADHD is still developing, but it is worth mentioning these patterns to your GP.
If you recognise yourself here, you are not alone, and it is never too late to seek understanding. A later diagnosis can bring grief for the years spent struggling, as well as relief. Both feelings are valid, and both are a normal part of making sense of your story.