Getting clear on your strengths and values

Ask someone with ADHD about their difficulties and you will usually get a fluent, detailed answer. Ask about their strengths and you may get a long pause. Years of feedback about what goes wrong can crowd out any clear sense of what goes right — yet that clearer picture is one of the most useful things a person can have.

Strengths are not just feel-good extras; they are practical tools. Someone who thinks brilliantly under pressure can volunteer for the urgent task and negotiate away the slow-burn admin. Someone who hyperfocuses on what fascinates them can shape their work around genuine interests. You can only build a life around your strengths once you know what they are.

If you struggle to name yours, borrow other people’s eyes. Ask a few people who know you well: what do you come to me for? What do I make look easy? The answers are often surprising, because strengths feel effortless and therefore unremarkable to the person who has them.

Values matter in the same way. When you know what actually matters to you — fairness, creativity, security, connection, independence — decisions get simpler. A goal that lines up with your values generates its own motivation, which for an ADHD brain is worth more than any productivity system.

Try keeping a running note on your phone: moments you felt capable, compliments that landed, tasks that gave you energy rather than taking it. Over a few weeks, patterns emerge. That list becomes evidence you can return to on the days when the old story says you have nothing to offer.

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